Thursday, September 24, 2015
summer's last hurrah
(disclaimer: this was supposed to be posted on labor day - then yesterday. i might have to fire the poster!)
tho here in austin, our neighborhood pool is open year-round, we can boat and swim well into september (and possibly october), and the kids will still get in the chilly creek with the floating fall leaves, labor day tends to mark the end of summer.
even with school starting before the sobering holiday, life feels a bit free-wheeling until you can no longer wear white without your aunt frannie reminding you that it's not done (i sure do miss you aunt frannie).
with the first official day of fall upon us, we are now fully plugged into our fall schedule - school, homework, martial arts, football, adventure club, talking incessently about halloween costumes, pumpkin planning, holiday schedules, plans and possible travel; crock pot dinner, picking out clothes, packing snacks, laying out gear the night before, 7:30 bed time - whew! there is something comforting and stable about the routine, even when the pace feels a bit frenetic.
it was not a graceful transition into school schedule, but having a day off to exhale and start fresh gave us all a much-needed break to take full advantage of the last gasp of summer 2015 - 'the best summer ever!'
we put the world on hold and spent the day lazing, eating, swimming, tubing, conquering fears and reconnecting with who we are, bathed in the frigid waters of lake austin.
it was a good day.
so long summer. see you next -- well, see you next summer!
welcome fall - 90 degrees and all!
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
no longer afraid
*photos from Bee Cave Sculpture Park where we created our own sculptures and discovered nature's sculpture (can you see the tiny bird egg?)
no longer afraid
she threw back her shoulders
and opened her mouth
and sang out loud and fierce.
it was terrible
and it was beautiful
because it was her own song.
she spread her wings
and flapped them a bit
to rid them of dust.
and she realized
she was no longer afraid.
she was no longer afraid.
Friday, August 21, 2015
this vacation
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This is not Kyle. I got back to the truck on the top of the mountain and turned around and he was standing there. It was too perfect not to shoot! |
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Tug took this one for you! |
this vacation. this vacation was special - totally spontaneous. watching CBS Sunday Morning we saw a story about the mcdonald observatory in fort davis, tx and its stars. oh it's starsI we ooohed and ahhed and wanted to go. two weeks later - on the road - one last adventure before school starts back. what an adventure it was.
on the 7 or so hour drive, the cedar-laden hill country gave way to dry, nearly treeless, scrubby desert landscapes. and mountains. the further west we went, the stranger. more craggy, and taller the mountains became. it was a feast for the eyes - miles and miles and miles of very little that resembled civilization. this was big bend country tho still 100 miles north of the real big bend.
fort davis and the surrounding areas of alpine, marathon and marfa are referred to as 'high desert' with near perfect weather - mid-high 80's during the day and high 60's a night. our first day, we eased into the day with a breathtaking sunrise, coffee in our jackets, dog walking and bike riding in our pajamas and greeting our mooing neighbors through the brush.
we finally ventured out around lunch time and headed to the indian lodge in davis mountains state park. we immediately fell in love as we hiked after lunch. the trail was narrow and rocky and provided little respite from the sun. it was an easy hike, surrounded by grasses, cacti and large, mean-looking ants that we later found out were fire ants when one bit poor banjo. passing under a small copse of trees, the unmistakable call of a hawk rang out just over my head. looking up, i was no more than a dozen feet from a pair of watchfull eyes. down further in the tree, just a few feet from the caller, sat another hawk who we thought was a mother feeding her babies. turns out the sqeaking we heard was the dying call of an unfortunate rodent. a good lesson in the circle of life. . .
after our hike, we promptly checked out of the private campground we had initially reserved and moved, lock stock and barrel over to the state park where we nestled comfortably into the trees, just up from a dry creek bed the boys and dogs took great joy in exploring.
we hiked and drove and gawked and gasped. we visited the fort for whom the town was named and walked around in the rain, learning about grisly medical practices and life before antibiotics and sterilization. we gazed longingly at the big guns and the little guns and the bigger, booming guns (and i use 'we' loosely here.) we drove out to see the fabled 'marfa lights' (i'm a skeptic) and ate ice cream and rode bikes and threw the football. we played jr. monopoly during a thunder storm and napped and walked dogs and walked them some more. we climbed 1/2 way up a mountain, drove up a bigger mountain and threw rocks at a dead tree stump. it was the slow, leisurely pace of vacation. we saw what we wanted to see, but not in much of a hurry.
the absolute highlight of the trip, the reason we went in the first place - those stars. oh my stars!
around 9 on saturday night, we crawled up, up, up the mountain, snaking along with the other headlights and taillights to the very tippy top, to the mcdonald observatory. what awaited us there is beyond compare. i've seen stars in the mountains of north carolina. i've seen stars in back country of vermont. i've seen the southern cross, shivering on a mountainside in quito, ecuador. but i've never seen stars like this. it was more than i could have imagined. when you live near a city, it's easy to forget the milkyway is out there. after a brief talk about the stars and a short tour of a few constellations, we got to walk around (in the complete inky blackness of night, lit only by low red light) and peer into the heavens through high powered telescopes. we saw galaxies 24 million light years away. we saw the swan nebulous that will become a star when we are remembered fondly like the dinosaurs. but the icing on the cake of our evening under the stars was the perfect veiw of saturn through one of the biggest telescopes i've ever seen. we saw saturn and 4 of its moons. let me repeat - we saw saturn. the magnificence of that night will live with me for a long long time - perhaps 24 million light years.
i was nowhere near ready to leave when the time came, but i returned home with a new perspective; a new sense of what's important in this life. this lifetime is such a blip on the universal map. but that doesn't make it insignificant or unimportant. i think being such a short burst in time makes this life all the more important. don't waste it. make it count. burn as bright and as hot as you dare before you're gone and that nebulous is still sitting out there in the universe somewhere, waiting to become a star.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
50X50
i turned 45 last week. since my 30th, i've had difficulty with milestone-type birthdays. they seem to be times to reflect. when i reflect, i have a hard time bringing up all my accomplishments. i tend to focus on all the things i've NOT accomplished (yes, i know i need therapy!). so, i did some thinking about all the things i've talked about for years and years and all the things i've been afraid to talk about and all the things i didn't even know i wanted to do until i really thought about it. and i started a list of 50 things i want to do by the time i reach my 50th birthday. i'm not quite to 50 items yet, but maybe you can help me. are there things you've heard me talk about a million times that i haven't done yet? there are some items that should be on the list but are not included becuase i don't think they'll be financially viable in the next 5 years - like studying yoga in india and going on a meditation retreat to tibet. that will be on my 60X60 list once the kids are safely raised and are productive citizens.
comment - let me know what would be on your list. i will continue adding to mine and let you know how i'm doing.
50X50
- Build a regular blog
- Start an Etsy shop
- Dive at the Great Barrier Reef or visit the Galapagos Islands (provided it is financially possible!)
- Get out of debt
- Learn to play tennis (with Ray)
- Learn to play golf
- Learn to screen print
- Become comfortable in my body
- Really work toward getting my body healthy
- Get a tattoo
- See Al Green Preach
- Take my kids to a bluegrass festival
- Hike in Big Bend
- Stay up for more than 3 seconds on water skis
- Cook a prime rib
- Pull a skier on the boat
- Finish my book
- Be able to do Wheel again – with grace
- Get the children’s books that are in my head onto paper and out to publishers
- Maintain an organic garden thru an entire summer
- Travel for a year with the kids
- Renew my yoga practice
- Simplify my stuff
- Simplify my life (this one is loaded and probably needs much more definition!)
- Regularly practice random acts of kindness – have it be part of my everyday thoughts
- Be kind to myself without thinking about it
- See the Grand Canyon
- See Orcas in their natural home
- Get my office organized
- See the fireflies in the Great Smokey Mtns in TN
- Take a road trip with my mom
- Learn to knit (it may not be possible!!!)
- See Asleep at the Wheel in concert
- Take my kids to a bluegrass festival
- Teach the boys yoga
- Make daily meditation a priority
- Give up the foods that make me sick
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
oh there you are
when i'm walking the dogs, driving the kids somewhere, working in the yard, washing dishes, folding laundry, or doing anything else in the world besides writing, i craft mental masterpieces. the words flow like a river.
when i sit here, in front of this blank page, thinking of you - my 3 blog readers, i freeze. i can't write a word, or everything i write sounds like complete gibberish, written by a donkey.
and i think i just figured it out - it's about expectations. my expectations of what I should be doing; my expectations of what you want to read; my expectations of what my blog should look like.
i realized that i'm writing for you, not me. sorry, but it really is about me (as i've always expected)! i over think it when i'm trying to write what i think someone elses wants to read. when i write from my heart, the writing flows.
i also have the usual litany of 'beat down':
- my blog should have a theme.
- i should write only about these types of things or those types of things to be consistent.
- no one really wants to hear about this.
- my blog isn't as good as someone else's blog.
- i should have pics - really great pics.
- i should have a better design.
and the list goes on and on and on and on.
so how about this. how about i just write? hopefully you'll be able to find a nugget of truth that you can relate to. thanks for sticking with me through this journey.
Monday, March 2, 2015
protected by ninjas
on a recent hike, these fleet-footed ninjas kept flitting in and out of the woods - watching, silently protecting. i managed to snap a few covert images - getting caught on the last one and receiving a stern warning about revealing their identities to the public. i post this at great threat to my future personal protection. i hope they don't see this post so that they continue to lurk and watch and keep me safe.
perhaps they were protecting me from this guy who joined us at the park recently (don't worry, red is not next to yellow - he's completely harmless):
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
resolved - 2015
as i lay in bed at midnight on new year's eve, unable to sleep for the celebratory fireworks outside and the firey stream of stomach acid on the inside, i started to reflect on the year that has passed and plan for the year to come.
whatever you call them, intentions, goals, plans, or just plain old resolutions, it's all the same. at the close of an old and the beginning of a new, we all seem to have that itch to review, evaluate and plan.
i am no different - tho perhaps a little slower to share!
in looking back on last year with my unwritten intentions in mind, i'm not sure that the reality measured up to the expectations. i believe that part of the reason is because they were not written down.
so, without further ado, my intentions for 2015 are:
whatever you call them, intentions, goals, plans, or just plain old resolutions, it's all the same. at the close of an old and the beginning of a new, we all seem to have that itch to review, evaluate and plan.
i am no different - tho perhaps a little slower to share!
in looking back on last year with my unwritten intentions in mind, i'm not sure that the reality measured up to the expectations. i believe that part of the reason is because they were not written down.
so, without further ado, my intentions for 2015 are:
- regain my health thru clean eating, taking my supplements consistently, and regular exercise.
- regain my mental and emotional health thru regular meditation, journaling and positive thoughts, words and actions.
- regain financial health.
- foster confidence and independence in my children thru kind, uplifting words, patience, more smiles, and undivided attention.
- dare to dream again.
- follow my dreams boldly.
- realign our family life with our values.
- travel more.
- consume less.
happy 2015. come boldly with me into this new year and let's make it an amazing year!
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